cuz i've been locked inside this house, all the while you hold the key and i am dying to get out, and it might be the death of me.

Well. I have figured out why am I need to get the fuck out of here. And here it is:
I need to leave, because I need to be independent. Because when I depend on people, it's easy to get let down and disappointed. And that happens far too often.

Basically I have two people who I know who are gonna be there for me, always. And I thank God for those people. And I really hope I keep them close to me.

Everyone says that, once you grow up, you'll like your family a lot more. I really hope that's true. Because I feel like a horrible person because I dislike my family so much. But I really want a break from them, so that I can appreciate them. If I've never known anything different, how can I appreciate what I have?

My self-centeredness has gotten really bad lately. And I'm not doing anything to change it. And I probably won't do anything to change it. Is that really bad of me? I can't tell...

I would like to make a short response to Lyndsey's poem, which is written sort of for me. (You see what I mean about the self-centeredness?) Basically it sums up what's going on in my life right now. My dream to be an actor is pretty intense, and I don't want to let go of it, even though my family disapproves. I'm glad that at least one person can still see some good qualities in me, because I'm losing sight of them myself. I love how Lyndsey is sort of like the big sibling I never had and always sort of wish I had. I know that I have to just wait out the next 19 months, even though they seem unbearable, but it makes me feel great that someone believes I can. I need the support of those who I love. And the support of my family, who I would like to feel good about and proud of.

Okay, I probably seem really emo from the last few posts. I'm not I assure you. As an online quiz once told me, I am only a model emo. Not the real deal. Ok, so something good about my day.... Ummmmmm I found out that the average human life expectancy has risen about 30 years in the last century. Go modern medicine! Yay?

Five songs to describe my mood:
1. Everything Sucks - Reel Big Fish
2. California - Phantom Planet
3. It Sucks To Be Me - Avenue Q
4. I Hate You - Reel Big Fish
5. Be My Escape - Relient K

-Will